In the silence

We are building a new worship space at my church and it's been in the works for a few years now. Minor things like category five hurricanes and global recessions have slowed the progress, yet we forge on. We will open the doors in a few months and everyone is getting really excited about it. This past weekend we did something that totally impressed me. Any of you who know me personally will know that I'm not easily impressed, as my internal cynic sometimes gets the best of me. But this past weekend, I was utterly impressed.

Pastor Dino decided that before we open the doors of our new facility, he wanted the Word spoken over the facility in its entirety. We signed up for 15 minute time slots and read the Bible from cover to cover. It took several days (and all-nighters) but we made it from Genesis to Revelation. It was one of the coolest experiences I've ever been a part of.

The section I read was out of Matthew and had lots of 'Woe to you, brood of vipers' stuff. As I was reading it I began to wonder if God was speaking to me specifically. Jesus was rebuking the Pharisees for being white-washed tombs; clean on the outside but full of deceit and corruption on the inside. I began to wonder if I should just lay down the bible and repent.

I am a sinner, saved by grace. I don't live the life of overt sin that I once did, but I still struggle with being more like Jesus and less like my self-serving, me-focussed, center of the universe self. I want my life to glorify God and bring the saving knowledge of Christ to the lost. I want to be, as Pastor Dino puts it, "a paper plate to serve up Jesus".

What is it in us that demands that we be heard? What broken part of us cries out for our rights, even in the midst of our sin?

I don't want to be a white washed tomb. I don't want to be a Pharisee that loves to be noticed and needs the approval of others. I spend lots of hours every day in silence. I used to want God to speak to me and tell me what to do. Now I want to get to the place where I'm content to sit in the silence, just knowing He's here with me.

Have you gotten to a place where God's presence is all you seek? Not His voice, not His direction, not His hand: simply His silent presence. If you have, lemmino how you arrived there. I'm eager to learn.

Be blessed and be free, in Jesus' name. All glory to God!

Thought of the day

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Psalm 139:23 (NIV)

I was walking in the park the other day and I saw a group of children in the distance. They were probably in third or fourth grade and they were wearing school uniforms. They all looked similar, except for a young boy with a cast on his arm. The plaster was neon orange and stood out dramatically from everything else. I could tell, from a hundred yards away, that this boy had been hurt.

I started thinking about all the times I had been hurt; without a neon cast to show for it. So many times we are broken and wounded, and yet our closest friend isn’t able to tell.

Why is it that we insist on hiding our brokenness? Most times, with me, it’s either pride or shame. I’m afraid that no one can help or, worse yet, that no one will care. So there we sit, quietly bleeding to death, hoping and fearful that no one will notice.

God always knows about our hurts and He always wants to heal them. We don’t have to be anxious about going to Him, we can be like David and invite God to search our hearts and thoughts. The more access we give to Jesus the quicker He is able to heal us.

Question of the day:
What’s my payoff for not letting God help me?