Confessions of a selfish Christian

I was in Starbucks Saturday morning before outreach. I ran into somebody from church and he asked what we were doing downtown. I told him, "The usual...door-to-door, hand out groceries, pray for people." We talked for a couple more minutes while waiting for our drinks. As I was walking out to the shuttle that 'still, small voice' arrested me.

It wasn't that thundering voice of God that makes you afraid to breathe; it was quiet and almost exasperated. The words 'the usual' echoed through my mind, bringing waves of conviction with it. I felt like the Holy Ghost was asking me when I allowed the Great Commission to become 'the usual'. When did feeding the hungry, visiting the lonely, healing the sick and setting the captives free become mundane? I stood beside the HPC shuttle, green tea frap in hand, and I wanted to cry.

At some point in my self-important schedule, I have allowed the awesome privilege of serving become ordinary. I don't want that to be true. I don't want to take for granted the opportunities I have been given by being a part of Healing Place Church. I don't want the miracles that I see every week to go unnoticed; by me or by others. God is healing people, setting them free and changing lives...and I have the audacity to call that 'the usual'. Shame on me.

I spoke to a friend over Christmas and he told me how much he misses doing outreach. He's currently at school out of state and can't find another church like HPC. The truth seems to be, very few people have the chance to do what we do.

So, there it is. Despite my best effort to put Him first, bring Him glory and make Him known, I continue to be selfish, self-centered and all about me. God have mercy on me. I'm not sure what to do with this new-found information (new to me, not new to God). I think maybe I need to start keeping a list of the miracles I get to witness. I've asked God to forgive me and to help me replace 'self' with God. That would make me Godish, God-centered and all about Him. I think that would be a much more fulfilling route to take. Please pray for me in this much-needed transformation. Thank God for His mercy. All glory to Him!